Valley Public Radio - Live Audio

Limericks

Feb 25, 2017
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(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)

BILL KURTIS: Until our producers accept my idea for the Listener Book-Length Epic Poem Challenge, we're going to keep playing Limerics. Here's a favorite game from a couple years back.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

BENNETT MOON: Hello. How do you do? This is Bennett Moon coming out of Athens, Ga., by way of Columbia, Tenn.

SAGAL: Whoa - you sound like a late-night DJ.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Is your name really Bennett Moon?

MOON: Yeah. And believe it or not, my parents were not hippies. Quite the opposite - law and politics. So I guess I came out with a strange name to just fool all of you.

SAGAL: Bennett, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. Your job - just fill in that last word phrase or - do it 2 out of 3 times, and you will win our prize. Ready to do it?

MOON: Yes, sir.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

KURTIS: At each edit and each table read, Seth and Evan would blaze and proceed. The results were ironic, but the residue's chronic. Their old office walls still reek of...

MOON: Weed?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Weed. Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Former Sony CEO Amy Pascal - they threw her out of the headquarters, but they gave her a new office on the lot. But she can't move into it because it reeks of pot smoke. Apparently - this is true - the former tenant was Seth Rogan. And he, as we know, smokes so much weed, when he finally exhales, it looks like there's a new pope.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They're fumigating. But still, she's going to get a contact high. And we're excited for when Sony greenlights the $50 million film "A Bunch Of Swirling Colors," starring George Clooney and a lava lamp.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Hydroponics are helping my plot. Master Cottontail's here quite a lot. I've found rabbit habits include fresh cannabis. Yes, Peter's addicted to...

SAGAL: Pot.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: And I should say that the Peter mentioned is Peter Cottontail.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Utah is close to becoming the latest state to legalize medical marijuana. But one DEA agent raised the alarm in front of the Utah legislature - he warned them that rabbits might eat the weed. And then what would you have? You'd have a bunch of weed-crazed rabbits running around. They'd run rampant in the state's cornfields and taco orchards.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Bennett, you're really great. Let's see how you do on this one.

MOON: Is the next one's answer marijuana?

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: How did you know?

SAGAL: Well, let him read the limerick.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Ben & Jerry mix up what-ya-wanna.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Their new batch won't make munchies a gone-a. The bigger the cone, the more I get stoned. Their ice cream contains...

MOON: Marijuana.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Ben & Jerry's say - of Ben & Jerry's ice cream - that when it's legal to do so, they will try to make some marijuana ice cream, resulting in thousands of people simultaneously getting and curing ice cream headaches.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Of course, they're going to need to make it a special no-melt formula for the 98 percent of consumers who will accidentally put it back in the cabinet instead of the freezer.

(LAUGHTER)

CHARLIE PIERCE: And they've already got Cherry Garcia.

SAGAL: That's true, not to mention Wavy Gravy. Bill, how did Bennett do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Ah, man, she is really cool.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: She got all three.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Bennett. Thank you so much for playing.

MOON: Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "MARY JANE")

RICK JAMES: (Singing) I'm in love with Mary Jane. She's my main thing. She makes me feel all right. She makes my heart sing. And when I'm feeling low, she comes as no surprise. Turns me on with her love, takes me to paradise. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.