Valley Public Radio - Live Audio

Panel Round Two

Mar 9, 2013
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Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Firoozeh, a company has announced that after years of development, they're ready to start selling an armchair that does what?

FIROOZEH DUMAS: An armchair that tells you get off the sofa, you lazy bum.

SAGAL: No, it wants you to stay in the chair.

DUMAS: Oh, stay on the sofa, you lazy bum.


SAGAL: It's armchair and what the armchair has done is it has removed one of the last reasons every to get out of your armchair.


SAGAL: Not that one.


DUMAS: Wait, does it mean you can filibuster in it for hours and hours and hours.

SAGAL: You could. You could do anything you wanted in it because you'd never have to leave because it does something for you, particularly if you're sitting around and, you know, drinking beer and watching TV.

DUMAS: OK, it has a refrigerator so there's beer underneath it.

SAGAL: It's more than that.

DUMAS: It has an ice cream maker.

SAGAL: No, no, no, no.


SAGAL: It does have beer in it but what does it do with that beer?

DUMAS: It opens it up for you.

SAGAL: It does even more than that.

DUMAS: It drinks it for you.

SAGAL: Between those two.


DUMAS: It pours it for you.

SAGAL: Exactly.


SAGAL: It refills your beer.



SAGAL: Are you wondering what to get for the sedentary drunk who has everything?


SAGAL: Well GrinOn Industries has you covered. You fill the Bottoms Up armchair with beer. You put your cup down in a holder in the armrest and it refills the cup with beer every time you put it down.


SAGAL: We like to think of it as the Refill-Cliner or the Profoundly Laz-E-Boy.


SAGAL: The chair is currently available for purchase. The price may be too high for many buyers. Though if your dream is to own a chair that saves you the hassle of walking 20 feet to the refrigerator, there's little doubt your work ethic and persistence have already led you to wealth beyond your wildest dreams.


DUMAS: Yeah, I'm guessing this is for single men.

SAGAL: Probably. In response to this product, AA now has 13 steps. The first is stand up from your beer chair.


POUNDSTONE: I don't drink anymore but I do eat fatty foods. So I could get a chair where you put a frying pan down there.


SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: And like a hand comes out and does like home fries for you.

SAGAL: That'd be awesome.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, yeah.

SAGAL: Paula, a clothing manufacturer in Italy has caused a small uproar by naming its line of jeans what?

POUNDSTONE: Oh, my. Berlusconi jeans.

SAGAL: No, the opposite end of the moral spectrum.

POUNDSTONE: The opposite. Oh, pope jeans.

SAGAL: Even further


POUNDSTONE: God's panties.


SAGAL: You're in the neighborhood.

POUNDSTONE: Jesus Jeans.

SAGAL: Jesus Jeans is what they're called.




SAGAL: Hey, are those Jesus Jeans you're wearing, because your butt looks heavenly.


SAGAL: Now most evidence, historical and biblical evidence shows Jesus was definitely more of a sensible robes kind of guy. An Italian clothing called BasicNet trademarked the name Jesus for their jeans back in 2007, immediately giving the phrase "turn the other cheek" a completely new meaning.


SAGAL: But just last week, the company showed that they would defend their brand religiously.


SAGAL: They threatened to sue the Christian clothing line Jesus Surfed as well as the firms Jesus Couture and Jesus, this is a terrible name for a clothing company.


SAGAL: They want to protect the brand though, because the thing about Jesus Jeans, they're really forgiving.


DUMAS: That's so bad.

POUNDSTONE: There was nothing I could do to stop you.



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