Valley Public Radio - Live Audio

Limericks

Feb 3, 2018
Originally published on February 3, 2018 8:08 am
Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where we have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call and leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago and our upcoming shows in Hartford, Conn. - that's March 15; Columbus, Ohio, on April 5; and South Bend, Ind., just a few days away - February 8.

Hi. You are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

DANIELLE: Hi. This is Danielle (ph) from Tallahassee.

SAGAL: Hey. How are things in Tallahassee?

DANIELLE: It's beautiful right now, actually.

SAGAL: I'm glad to hear it. Now, are you part of the the state government, which I understand is in Tallahassee?

DANIELLE: Not exactly. I'm a high school science teacher.

SAGAL: Do you know...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...That fruit flies sleep the same way people do?

DANIELLE: No, I did not.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well...

(LAUGHTER)

BILL KURTIS: Tell her where you learned that, Peter.

SAGAL: I happened to - I learned that recently from talking to a guy who won a Nobel Prize.

DANIELLE: Oh, well, look at that.

SAGAL: I know.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: So do you use fruit flies in your experiments and studies with your students?

DANIELLE: Not quite. I do breed them myself to...

POUNDSTONE: What do you mean you breed them yourself but not...

SAGAL: Well, wait a minute.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: So wait. You don't use them for teaching, but you breed them?

DANIELLE: Yes. I keep a lot of insects and spiders. And they're perfect food for the baby insects.

SAGAL: Oh, my God.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Wow.

SAGAL: You breed them just to feed to other insects?

DANIELLE: Of course.

SAGAL: You monster.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: And they sleep just like us.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Danielle, welcome to our show.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill Kurtis right now is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

DANIELLE: Sure.

KURTIS: Here is your first limerick.

KURTIS: Cheap groceries won't make me too yella (ph). For nut spread, I'll fight with you, fella. For chocolatey spreads, I'll bash a few heads. I riot for discount...

DANIELLE: Nutella.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Nutella.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: It's like a second French Revolution, except this time it's stupide.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The French supermarket equivalent of Whole Foods over there - it's known there as La Rive Douche - announced a...

(LAUGHTER)

TOM BODETT: I wonder why we changed that name.

SAGAL: Yeah. They announced a 70 percent discount on Nutella.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And shoppers went berserk.

BODETT: That sounds yummy.

SAGAL: Store employees were mobbed as they tried to restock shelves. One shopper told the BBC, they are like animals. A woman had her hair pulled. An elderly lady took a box in her head. Another had a bloody hand. Who knew there were so many Philadelphia Eagles fans in France?

(LAUGHTER)

HELEN HONG: Nutella is good, but I don't know if I would get into fisticuffs over it.

SAGAL: Well, I mean...

POUNDSTONE: You would at the La Rive Douche.

SAGAL: You know, like, the really big, large jar...

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

HONG: Oh.

SAGAL: ...Which is, like, seven bucks?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: They were selling them for, like, a buck and a half.

HONG: Oh, yeah. I'd punch somebody in the face for that.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Danielle, here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: When movies push speeds past injurious, in our cars we become gassed and curious. With each film's release, traffic tickets increase because we all want to be...

DANIELLE: "Fast And Furious."

HONG: Yay.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A six-year study by the New York Times of speeding tickets given out in a particular Maryland county found that people drive faster every time a new "Fast And Furious" movie comes out...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Which is roughly every nine days.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This means either the movies were so exciting people wanted to imitate them - right? - going to and from the movie. Or they're so bad people wanted to get away from them as fast as possible.

All right, Danielle. Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Some buy reading things just for their looks. But we writers think those folks are crooks. We think it a crime to be hiding the spine, so we fight over how to shelve...

DANIELLE: Books.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Wall Street Journal...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...Reports that terrible people are shelving their books with the pages side out and the spines in - you know, like, where it says what the books are - that's in. They say this creates a neutral palette on your bookshelf and an arresting look.

HONG: What?

SAGAL: It's true. And it also helps people who are perusing Instagram know who to murder.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Danielle do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, Danielle is smart. She got all three right. Tallahassee...

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: ...Danielle.

SAGAL: Thank you so much, Danielle. Well done. Congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "READING RAINBOW THEME SONG")

TINA FABRIQUE: (Singing) Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high. Take a look. It's in a book, a reading rainbow. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.