Valley Public Radio - Live Audio

Limericks

Mar 18, 2017
Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you would like to play on-air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the Contact Us link on our website. That's waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Ill., and in Salt Lake City on May 11. Hey, Salt Lake. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

KATHERINE BALL: Hi, this is Katherine from Brooklyn, N.Y.

SAGAL: Hey, Brooklyn. How are things going in Brooklyn?

BALL: It's fine - not so bad post-blizzard. It was not nearly as bad as everybody thought it would be.

SAGAL: You know, I was just thinking that Brooklyn, when I was a kid, anyway, meant, oh, you were a tough guy. You grew up on the street corner with your pals. Now it means you're a hipster. You probably have a beard, don't you?

(LAUGHTER)

BALL: I don't, but I've cultivating one for a while. No luck so far.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Of course, you have. What do you - what do you do there in the new Brooklyn?

BALL: Well, as a hobby, I do flying trapeze, so that's pretty Brooklyn.

SAGAL: That is pretty damn Brooklyn.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's great. And so you actually are out there learning to be a woman on the flying trapeze?

BALL: I'm doing my best. It's a good back-up career, but I don't think it's going to take off.

SAGAL: No. Well...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Ha, ha, ha (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Katherine.

BALL: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

BALL: Yes.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: Send this late-breaking news to Geraldo - that stripey guys getting real small, though. With his glasses and the hat, I can't see where he's at. It's much harder to finish "Where's"...

BALL: ..."Waldo?"

SAGAL: Yes, Waldo - "Where's Waldo?" If you were thinking you needed another way that life had just gotten harder recently, Waldo - that's the slippery, hard-to-find hero of the kids picture book series, "Where's Waldo?" - he is now 20 times smaller than he once was, thus 20 times harder to find in the pages of the book. At what point can we just give Waldo a smartphone, right?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's called Waze, man. Download it.

ADAM BURKE: The way I find him is through extreme vetting.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: When my cravings for chocolate are sorest, I become an arboreal florist. I envision some trees, and those cravings soon cease. I fight snacks with a lush mental...

BALL: ...Oh, forest.

SAGAL: Yes. Very good.

KURTIS: So smart.

SAGAL: According to a scientist in Australia, if you want to get over your chocolate cravings, you have two choices. You can snort lines of Nestle Quick until you pass out or just imagine walking in a forest. This is called cognitive diffusion. You replace the image of delicious chocolate with pictures of trees. It interrupts your mind and your cravings. You're not thinking of a chocolate snack. You're thinking of fir trees, squirrels, a babbling brook and richly flowing chocolate fountain.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Little chocolate Easter bunnies and a giant talking Snickers bar that says, eat me.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This is nonsense.

TOM BODETT: It sounds it. And I don't know. I live in Vermont. I've got a forest out my window that I see, and I can't tell you how many cartons of chocolate Ben and Jerry's I've gone through...

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: ...As I watch that forest.

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Online is where loneliness ends, as is proved by my camera's lens. But in pictures I'd take, the relationship's fake. I just rented some good-looking...

BALL: ...Friends.

SAGAL: Yes, friends.

KURTIS: Friends.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: We all want to look cool in our selfies, surrounded by a crowd of friends, but what if your only friend is the last Pokemon you got?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'll always have you, Bulbasaur. Thankfully, a Japanese company is now renting out fake friends for better selfies. The company is called Family Romance. We have to hope that's a translation error.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They claim you can use its service to, quote, "share the images on social media and publicly announce how great your private life is," unquote. It's a fun way to show people you're not alone and invite questions like, hey, Jeff, I didn't know you had so many Japanese friends.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Katherine do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Katherine did not lose her grip on that trapeze once. She got every one right.

NEGIN FARSAD: (Laughter).

KURTIS: Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Katherine. Thank you so much for playing.

BALL: Thank you. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.