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Lightning Fill In The Blank

Apr 29, 2017
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game. It's Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our panelists has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can, each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, what are the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Roy has two. Amy has one. Tom has four.

AMY DICKINSON: What?

SAGAL: Good grief. Well, that means, Amy, you...

DICKINSON: What?

SAGAL: ...You are in third place, so you're going to be up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, House Oversight leaders said that former national security adviser blank may have broken the law.

DICKINSON: Michael Flynn.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Emmanuel Macron and Marine Le Pen began campaigning for the next round of blank's presidential elections.

DICKINSON: France.

SAGAL: Right, France.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following protests, Ann Coulter announced she was canceling her planned speech at blank.

DICKINSON: Berkeley.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, a California man driving a van that said sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll on the side was arrested for blank, blank and blank.

DICKINSON: Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll.

SAGAL: No, he was arrested for knives, drugs and tear gas. On Wednesday this week...

DICKINSON: Shoot.

SAGAL: ...Tennis great blank accidentally revealed she was pregnant on Snapchat.

DICKINSON: Serena Williams.

SAGAL: Serena Williams.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An airport in England was put on high alert this week after two men blanked.

DICKINSON: After two men - airport in England was put on high alert after two men fainted.

SAGAL: No, they pretended to be suitcases and crawled along the baggage chute.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: I can't believe I missed that story.

SAGAL: They entered the airport late at night and they crawled into the checked baggage chute. You know, the one you put your bags to go into the back. And they made their way down the conveyor belt for several hundred feet before being stopped by security. They...

DICKINSON: That is awesome.

SAGAL: Yeah.

DICKINSON: Wow.

SAGAL: They were detained overnight. They may face serious jail time. Things could have ended worse for the two men. They could have made it all the way into the terminal and gotten on a United flight.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, they got off easy. Bill, how did Amy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She got four right, eight more points, total of nine gives her the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

DICKINSON: Yeah.

SAGAL: Roy, you're up next. Fill in the blank. This week, the Freedom Caucus agreed to back a revised plan to repeal blank.

ROY BLOUNT JR.: Obamacare.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, a judge in California blocked President Trump's call to strip blanks of federal funding.

BLOUNT JR.: Sanctuary cities.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, President Trump announced a new tariff on lumber imports from blank.

BLOUNT JR.: Canada.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A tech company unveiled plans this week to use blanks to provide security at parking lots and shopping malls.

BLOUNT JR.: Drones.

SAGAL: No, crime-fighting robots.

BLOUNT JR.: Ah.

SAGAL: This week, a California man was arrested for being drunk and disorderly after he blanked in a Silicon Valley parking lot.

BLOUNT JR.: Drove around - he drove around in the lot going, beep-beep (ph), beep-beep.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He beat up a crime-fighting robot.

BLOUNT JR.: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: New evidence uncovered Wednesday revealed maybe that blanks arrived in North America 100,000 years earlier than previously thought.

BLOUNT JR.: People.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BLOUNT JR.: It makes me feel that much older.

SAGAL: It should. A Kansas turkey hunter impersonating a turkey to attract turkeys did such a good job that he blanked.

BLOUNT JR.: He had a little bunch of turkeys.

SAGAL: No. He did a - such a good job impersonating a turkey trying to attract a turkey that he was shot by another hunter who was trying to hunt turkeys.

BLOUNT JR.: No. I should've thought of that.

SAGAL: In fact, both men were imitating turkeys.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They knew each other but didn't know they were hunting in the same place. So they were sort of going turkey call, turkey call - I can't do it.

UNIDENTIFIED MAN #1: (Imitating turkey call).

SAGAL: Gobble (ph), gobble, gobble.

UNIDENTIFIED MAN #2: (Imitating turkey call).

TOM BODETT: I think that was an Elmer Fudd routine.

SAGAL: And they got closer and closer - oh, my God, that's a big turkey. And one of them fired first.

DICKINSON: Oh, no (laughter).

BODETT: (Imitating accent) It's a rabbit. It's a duck. It's a rabbit. It's a duck.

DICKINSON: No.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he got four right and eight more points.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh.

KURTIS: But he had one to go, so he's got 10 and slipped into the lead.

SAGAL: All right, so that means that Tom needs how many to win?

KURTIS: Well, three to tie and four to win.

SAGAL: All right.

DICKINSON: This is the lowest-scoring game ever (laughter).

SAGAL: Here we go, Tom, this is for the game. This week, President Trump and Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin announced Trump's new blank plan.

BODETT: Tax reform.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the chair of the FCC announced plans to roll back blank rules.

BODETT: The Internet access rules.

SAGAL: Yeah, I'll give it to you. It's called net neutrality.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: But that's essentially what it is. This week, it was announced that passengers who give up seats on blank's overbooked flights could now receive up to $10,000.

BODETT: On United.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During her trip to Germany, blank was booed by the attendees at an economic conference.

BODETT: Oh, Ivanka.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, thousands of bags of frozen hash browns were recalled because they contained blank.

BODETT: Broccoli.

SAGAL: Parts of golf balls.

BODETT: Even worse than broccoli.

SAGAL: On Wednesday, sports network blank laid off dozens of its employees and on-air talent.

BODETT: ESPN.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for "Silence Of The Lambs" and "Stop Making Sense," among other movies, director blank passed away this week at the age of 73.

BODETT: Jonathan Demme.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a 7-year-old boy was accused of forging a note from his teacher that said blank.

BODETT: Your boy does not have to attend school for the rest of the year because he's done such an amazing job.

SAGAL: That's good, Tom, but think bigger. The note read, quote, "dear parents, Nathan has been doing good in all his classes except for videogame class."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh, it goes on. If he does not stay up all night playing video games, he will get kicked out of school. Start letting him stay up all night and start tonight. He can play anything - computer, Wii, iPod, iPad, phone and any other electronic. From the school.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

DICKINSON: I love this kid.

SAGAL: It's a good kid.

DICKINSON: Wow.

SAGAL: Bill, did Tom do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, he needed four, he got six.

BLOUNT JR.: Whoa.

DICKINSON: Whoa.

KURTIS: And his total of 16 is very high. He's the winner tonight.

SAGAL: You're the winner, Tom, congratulations.

BODETT: Thank you. Thank you very much. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.