Valley Public Radio - Live Audio

Bluff The Listener

Dec 30, 2017
Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. And here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. Thank you very much.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you, everybody. So 2017 was a great year for Americans because we got to spend almost a week in San Francisco. Well, not all Americans, just a few Americans - OK, it was just us. We got to spend a week in San Francisco.

KURTIS: We did two shows there. And here's some never before heard segments from that trip, including an interview with Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Right now it is time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to play our game on the air.

Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

KEVIN SLATTERY: Hi, Peter. This is Kevin Slattery from St. Louis, Mo.

SAGAL: Hey, Kevin. How are you?

SLATTERY: I am so swell and excited and happy.

SAGAL: Oh, that's exciting. Well, we'll see if we can fix that.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What do you do there?

SLATTERY: I work as a mad scientist in St. Louis. So I go around to kids' homes and blow them up. I mean - sorry - I don't blow them up. I blow things up in homes...

(LAUGHTER)

SLATTERY: ...As a science birthday party entertainer. And I do assemblies and school programs and stuff like that.

SAGAL: Oh, how cool.

SLATTERY: Yeah.

SAGAL: So you're like the kind of - you do, like, those cool science tricks that they - things blow up or change color or...

SLATTERY: Exactly. All that stuff to get the young'uns interested in science early.

SAGAL: That's really great - or interested in munition sometimes. I'm sure that happens.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Kevin, you're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Kevin's topic?

KURTIS: Podcasting is so 2016.

SAGAL: So you've listened to Serial. You've binged through NPR's science show Invisibilia and NPR's show about bicycling, Pedal-philia (ph). So...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So what's next? Our panelists are going to tell you about the next big thing in audio. Pick the one who's telling you the truth, and you will win our prize, Carl Kasell's voice on your voicemail. You ready to do this?

SLATTERY: I love podcasts, so I'm ready, Peter.

SAGAL: All right. Your first story of the next big thing in audio comes from Luke Burbank.

LUKE BURBANK: For the past 30 years or so, Joe Natuzzi could only fall asleep one way - listening to late night conspiracy theory talk radio. "Ancient Aliens," "Remote Viewing," the real story behind those crop circles - Joe listened to all of it as he drifted off to dreamland. But last year when he brought his new wife Olga home from Ukraine, Joe's sleep system hit a snag. Olga would not stand for him playing the radio late at night. Using headphones proved uncomfortable, so Joe came up with a solution any conspiracy theorist would be proud of. He implanted special fillings in his teeth that contain tiny transistors that actually pick up AM radio signals.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: It helps that Joe is actually Dr. Joe Natuzzi, one of Margate, N.J.'s most beloved and respected dentists. It's great, Natuzzi recently told the Margate Times. I can listen to my show, and Olga can get her sleep. It's so great, in fact, that this week, Natuzzi launched a website selling the devices to the public. He's already had over 50 orders. He says he plans to use any proceeds to fund his next area of research, developing sunglasses that can tell you what the government is really putting in those chemtrails.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Special fillings...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...That actually can receive radio signals. Your next story of the future of sound comes from Helen Hong.

HELEN HONG: If you're someone who has a problem keeping off the pounds because food just sounds too good to you, why not make food sound a little less appetizing? A startup company - in where else but Los Angeles - has unveiled the latest technology to help you keep off the weight, anti-craving sound therapy. The app, called Sound Beach, allows you to program personalized recordings to fight off food cravings. Preloaded soundbites include descriptions of unappetizing food like caramel tuna soup...

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: ...And banana steak pudding.

(GROANING)

HONG: Common personalized recordings sure to make you lose your appetite include the sounds of your ex-boyfriend chewing...

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: ...The moans of Gilbert Gottfried getting a massage...

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: ...And Ted Cruz panting after a light jog.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: People looking to lose some weight can judge the app themselves this September when it's available in the iTunes App Store. Will it be all hype or just what dieters have been craving?

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: An audio app that plays sounds designed to ruin your appetite. Your last story of an advance in audio comes from Mo Rocca.

MO ROCCA: Audiobooks have been a hit with mankind - so why not man's best friend? Introducing audiobooks for dogs.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Developed in collaboration with famed dog whisperer Cesar Millan, Audible for Dogs provides owners peace of mind when leaving dogs home alone, knowing they'll have the comfort of a human voice. One hundred dogs participated in a lab study.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: That's right. A hundred dogs participated in a lab study. Seventy-six percent of participants experienced increased calm after listening to audiobooks, responding best to narrators of the same gender as their owner. Among the most popular titles, Jane Austen's "Pride And Prejudice" - especially popular with corgis...

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: ...And Kenneth Grahame's "The Wind In The Willows." Not so popular with dogs, "Old Yeller" and "Cujo."

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Audible for Dogs is really not so different than Audible for people. Just remember to increase the narration speed to 2.5 or 3 for Chihuahuas...

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: ...Or slow it down to 0.25 for your mastiff.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, here are your choices. Something is new in the world of audio - from Luke Burbank, is it fillings that finally and for real bring in radio transmissions; from Helen Hong, an audio app that will kill your appetite when you need it killed; or, from Mo Rocca, audiobooks for dogs? Which of these is the real story?

SLATTERY: Mo's story, audiobooks for dogs.

SAGAL: All right, you're choosing Mo's story of audiobooks for dogs. Well...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...The audience approves. We spoke to someone well-versed in that real story.

LISA SPECTOR: Every dog is different, and it could work for for some dogs. It depends on the speed of reading.

SAGAL: That was Lisa Spector, a pet-calming maestro and author of "Through A Dog's Ear," a book on sound therapy for dogs.

So congratulations. You got it right.

SLATTERY: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Mo had the real story. He earns a point just for being honest. And you, my friend, have won Carl Kasell's voice. Congratulations.

SLATTERY: Thank you.

SAGAL: Thanks so much for playing.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "THE BOOK I READ")

TALKING HEADS: (Singing) I'm writing 'bout the book I read. I have to sing about the book I read. I'm embarassed to admit it hit the soft spot in my heart when I found out you wrote the book I read. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.